Yesterday, we said goodbye to 2008 and “How you doooin’?” to 2009. Last year was quite a busy one for me. When I say busy, I’m comparing it to previous years where I did nothing other than scratch my butt and sniff my fingers. That’s only fun for so long!

I thought I would recap some of the cool things that went on last year. Hopefully I can keep the momentum going and have even a better 2009.

• For my birthday last year my family presented me with a film class. The class ran from January 22 to April-something. We had to write a script and then as a class we decide which ones were going to get made. Andrea, my sister, was taking the class with me. We both decided we wanted to make our scripts. My film feel apart trying to look for locations. After that Andrea asked me to direct her short, Socially. Long story, short. We found the cast and filmed in early March. The short premeired to all of the other film classes on April 26th. Great experience.

• Next up was the SXSW film festival. I didn’t fully emerge myself in the experience because I had to work most of the week. But it was my first time since living in Austin that I actually experienced SXSW…other than the traffic. The biggest highlight, besides all the movies, was seeing the cast of Harold and Kumar. NPH (Neil Patrick Harris) is funny as hell!
• In May, we traveled to Savannah, Georgia to Charleston, SC and then to Mrytle Beach, SC. It was great seeing family members that I haven’t seen in a long time. I was pumped to go to Savannah only to be let down. It had some beautiful things to see but overall the place is a dump…think New Orleans but less puke and piss. I did have the best Guiness of my life at some Irish pub we came across. It was also on this trip that Alev and I decided that we were going to move to Raleigh, NC in the next year. We had done this before but we were determined.
• Operation ‘Get the F*** Out of Our House’ was in full effect. It was the biggest road block in us moving to the east cost. When we got back from our trip we hit the ground running. We fixed it up and put it on the market. Sucker sold quick!! I’m in no rush to buy another house anytime soon.
• We saw some changes in the transportation department. We got rid of the crap box that was our 1999 Tahoe (quick friendly reminder, even family members will dick you over) and replaced it with a 2006 Chrysler Pacifica. I also purchased my first Harley Davidson, a 2008 Nightster. Looking back at the bike purchase, not the smartest thing to do but oh well. That is something I’m known for doing.

• With little time left in Austin we wanted to make sure we did as much as possible with friends. Generally Alev and I are homebodies. When asked if we want to go out we would make up an excuse of why we couldn’t. But that is something we don’t like and have been working on for the past year or so. With that said, we made sure we didn’t pass any opportunity to do anything we friends. Even if we had to fight the urge to sit on our asses. We had some AWESOME times.  Too many pictures to pick through. But I will post the one I like best. It’s from Tubing for Nikka’s Bday. She had too much to drink.
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• I got 2nd place for BBQ sauce in my companies annual BBQ cookoff. First time making a sauce! Whaddup!
• I experienced my first deep sea fishing trip. Sharon, Alev, Eric, and I headed down to South Padre for a weekend. We caught some kingfish and took them to a restaurant to cook up for us. Good times…no Great Times!!!

• After talking about it for years and years, we finally moved to Raleigh, NC. This is by far the biggest thing to happen this year. Everything feel into place and we made the move. Originally we planned to move sometime in 2009. If we had put it off till then we probably would not followed through with it. But we did move and we love it some far. Now we just need to get all of our friends to move up here and we’ll be set.

• We ended the year having an awesome Christmas. For the first time ever my family didn’t give any gifts to each other. We’ve been known to spend way too much money on past Christmases. So with our move, economy, and just cause we decided not to buy any gifts and it was the best ever. Zero stress. Bank account looks no worse than normal. We just enjoyed each others company and played some board games and Scene it! on the 360.

There you have it, a brief review of my year. I had a lot of great experiences this past year and I could be here all day writing about them. But that’s not going to happen. Just know it was a great year for me (not including the part where Andrea and I weren’t talking for a few months and missed out on spending time together before I left Austin). I only hope 2009 will be even better.

Happy New Year!

It’s pretty awesome that NASA has finally figured out how to recycle urine into drinking water. When this hits the home market it’s going to help save me a ton on buying bottled water.

My sides hurt from laughing so hard.

The best thing to happen to Saturday Night Live in recent memory is the comic trio of Andy Samberg, Akiva Schaffer, and Jorma Taccone. They’re responsible for all of the Digital Shorts you see on SNL almost every week. I’m sure you’ve seen some of these, like Dick in a Box with Justin Timberlake or Lazy Sunday. Here is the latest Digital Short from last nights SNL. Pure Gold!

You can’t go to any big news site without reading something about the big 3 automakers seeking a 25 billion dollar bailout from Congress. All 3 of them are in danger of running out of money which means 750,000 Americans would be out of a job.  I’m not sure if that includes the jobs that depend on the automakers for business but that number has the potential to be a lot higher.

Even so, Congress should not bailout the US automakers for their stupid ass business decisions. You don’t see the Japanese automakers begging for money. Yeah, they’re not making the profits they would like to be, but they’re making some profit. Even a retarded yeti could have told you banking on big ass trucks in today’s world is plain stupid. You would think with all that money you have invested in your SUVs and Pickups, you would have the best out there. But that’s not even the case.  Toyota Tacoma and Tundra’s are far superior in quality. But that’s all history, we can’t change the fact you thought selling turds with your emblem would be enough to get you by. We need to look to the future. We need someone to come in and steer us in the right direction.

I think I know the right person for the job.

Me!

I have a plan that I think will work. It’s pretty simple.

Bail my ass out!

Give me the money to pay off my debts. That way I can start over, and I don’t mean start over by cleaning the slate and learning from past mistakes. I mean pay off my debt and I will go full out, racking it right back up, injecting that money right back into the economy. I will even do better than that…I will double the amount of debt I get into. Maybe I will even use some of the money to buy a crappy American car (See this plan will even help the automakers). In order for this plan to work, every American must be bailed out. I’m fairly certain this would help get us out of a recession.

Unfortunately, it will probably come right back around because I (we) would not be able to pay off the new debt. But that is easy enough to fix. Just bail me (us) out again! I (we) will turn around and triple the amount of debt I (we…you get the point) got into originally.

You may be saying to yourself “This is, by far, the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard”

I respond to this with a question; How is this any different than bailing out the automakers? What are they going to change if they get the money? Ohhh the CEOs are going to work for $1 a year. Nice plan dipshit. They will work for $1, but they will continue producing SUVs and Trucks that no one is going to buy. They need time to shift their focus from Trucks, SUVs, and retro Muscle Cars (I’m a sucker, that new Dodge Challenger looks sexy, don’t forget the Chevy Camaro coming out) to making some economy class cars that consumers want to drive. That isn’t going to happen anytime soon, so they will be back sometime next year asking for more money.

So Congress, hurry up and bail ME out. I have my eye on a Ferrari I can’t afford.

We have just hit our 2 month mark since arriving in North Carolina. For the most part it has been an easy transition for us. We live in a nice apartment, surrounded by beautiful trees, and Alev is loving the cold weather (not me). All in All, we are loving living on the east coast.

There is one thing that worries me. The people of the Carolinas are some of the nicest people you will ever meet…until they get into their cars. As soon as they get into the car and turn the ignition, they turn into blood thirsty animals. They will run you off the road and not even blink, if it means getting to their destination quicker.

Do you need to change lanes from the access ramp to the highway? Forget about it. They won’t let you in. The only way you will get on is by having the same thirst for blood as them. You have to be willing to swap paint to get home.

North Carolina doesn’t seem to like protected green light turns. It seems like every light is a yield only on green. So you need to turn into that shopping center to buy your ailing grandmother a get well card? Tough shit! It ain’t going to happen. Even if you get a break in traffic, somewhere a sensor goes off and a crazy ass old lady will come out of nowhere to make sure you can’t turn. Sorry Grans.

Driving on a single lane road and need to make a left turn? OHHHH so sorry. In this scenario, it would be safer for you to go on a 18 month tour in Iraq. If you have to stop and wait for oncoming traffic, you’re holding up traffic behind you. This really pisses off the Carolinians…Carolinites…whatever. Looking in your rear view mirror you can see Bubba pulling out his rifle and his mouth start to water. Thirst for blood I’m telling you.

Want to go out for a nice ride on your motorcycle? HAHA sucker. On your bike you do not exist, think woman in corporate America (zing!). I have been riding on the streets for a little over a year. Most of that time was in Texas. In Texas, I had maybe 3 times where a driver failed to notice me and pushed me off the road. Since being in NC, I bested this number in the first week. If they happen to realize they pushed you off the road in most cases they will give you that wtf? face.

I now know why my auto insurance tripled just by moving to North Carolina. All you drivers in NC are effin nuts. I’m thinking about running for some public office and pushing mandatory anger management classes when applying for a drivers license. I will also push for the state motto to be changed to “The Jekyll and Hyde State”.