Threading – The New Form of Torturing

I have to make a confession. I have been getting my eyebrows waxed for almost 2 years…I think. I’m not really proud of it but I didn’t like the unibrow I was sporting either. It took awhile for my wife to convince me to go, once I did, I was happy I went through with it. That is until my worst nightmare came true, the lady made my face look lopsided!

How?

By taking more from the left side than the right. My biggest fear about getting them waxed had come true.

That happened back in April, so I haven’t been back since. The “brow” as it likes to be called, was getting seriously brushy. I was trying to let the hair grow back but I ended up looking like Cousin Itt.

While I was taking a break from the torture of waxing, Alev started getting her eyebrows threaded. So when it was time to mow down the “brow” I tried it out. What the hell is threading? I describe it as the latest form of Chinese Waterboarding…seriously. I have a pretty high tolerance for pain, so when I say this was painful, it’s painful. I bet they use this tactic on the detainees at Gitmo.

What is threading really? I’ll let Wikipedia lietell you.

Threading is an ancient method of hair removal which originated in India, practiced in the Middle and Far East, and is now gaining popularity in Western countries. It is as equally popular with both men and women in Arabic countries, although the men usually just do their ears and eyebrows with thread and continue to shave the beard part of their face with a traditional safety or straight razor. It is also popular in Persian culture where it is called Bande Abru (”Abru” means eyebrow, and “Band” is the thread). Threading the entire face is widely spread amongst Iranians, but it was originally practiced when a woman was getting married or during special occasions. In ancient Persia, threading was a sign a girl had reached adulthood and become a woman.

Still can’t visualize it? That’s what YouTube is for.

Different feeling? Doesn’t bother? Ha! That woman is part of the conspiracy…or they had a gun to her head. Either way, it is just a bunch of sick individuals that like bringing pain to others. The same bunch of folks that like tearing wings off of butterflies.

Even with all the cover up going on, the pain was worth it. The “brow” is looking better than it did when I was getting it waxed. It looks less…waxed and more natural.

If you decide to try out threading, just remember, I warned you!

Also, I refuse to give up my man card on this issue. You guys have done worse I’m sure.